Most job seekers know they need references but leave them until the last possible moment — scrambling to make contact only after an employer asks for them. That panic is avoidable, and it leads to rushed requests, underprepared referees, and sometimes a reference that does not land as well as it should.
Asking for a reference well is straightforward when you have a system. This guide covers who to ask, when to ask them, what to say in the email, how to prepare your referee for the call or questionnaire, what to do if someone declines, and how to follow up and say thank you afterwards.
Who to Ask for a Reference
The strongest job references come from people who can speak directly to your professional performance — ideally someone senior to you who observed your work over a sustained period.
Former direct managers
The gold standard. They can comment on your skills, your output, your conduct, and your growth. A former manager who thinks highly of you is the most credible reference you can offer.
Senior colleagues or project leads
A strong alternative when a direct manager is not available — for example if your manager has since left the company or if the relationship was difficult.
Clients or external stakeholders
Work well for client-facing roles where the quality of your relationships is directly relevant to the job.
Academic references
Appropriate for early-career roles or when your work history is limited. A dissertation supervisor or tutor who knows your work in depth is better than a general faculty member who barely knew you.
Character references
From a community, charity, or voluntary role — occasionally appropriate when returning to work after a career break, early in your career, or applying to roles in education, social care, or the third sector.
Who not to ask: Friends and family are rarely appropriate unless they are a direct professional supervisor. Colleagues who were your peers and had limited visibility of your work quality are weak choices. Anyone you have not been in contact with for more than five years without a prior heads-up is a risk.
When to Ask
The right time to ask for a reference is before you need one — ideally at the start of your job search, not after you have received a conditional offer.
There are two reasons for this. First, reaching out proactively gives your referee time to say yes, ask any questions, and prepare their thoughts rather than receiving a rushed request on a Friday afternoon with a Monday deadline. Second, it means you know your references are in place before you start applying, which removes one source of last-minute stress.
A good time to ask is when you have decided you are actively job searching and have a clear sense of the roles you are targeting — but before you have submitted applications. This gives your referee context about what you are going for.
If you have not been in contact for a while, ask early to re-establish the relationship before making the request. A brief catch-up message followed a week or two later by the reference request feels natural. A cold request from someone they have not heard from in three years asking for an urgent reference does not.
Reference Request Email Templates
Template 1: Asking a Former Manager
Use this for your primary referee — the former direct manager who knows your work best.
Subject: Reference request — [Your Name]
Hi [Name],
I hope you are well. I wanted to reach out because I have recently started exploring new opportunities and I am hoping you might be willing to act as a professional reference for me.
You were my manager at [Company] from [year] to [year], and I always valued your perspective on my work — particularly [brief specific reference]. I think your view of my work in that period would be genuinely useful to a potential employer.
I am currently focusing on [type of role], so the kinds of things that might come up would be [brief overview].
If you are happy to be a reference, I will share more detail about each role as I get to the later stages — so there is nothing to do right now. Please do let me know if you have any questions.
I completely understand if this is not something you are able to do right now.
Many thanks,
[Your Name]
Why this works:
- Explains why you are asking this specific person, making them feel valued rather than just ticked off a list
- Gives context about the roles you are targeting so they can decide whether they feel well-placed to speak to that
- Removes the pressure of an immediate ask by clarifying there is nothing to do right now
- Explicitly gives them an easy out, which paradoxically makes people more likely to say yes
Template 2: Asking a Former Colleague or Senior Peer
Use this when a direct manager is not available or when a senior colleague had closer visibility of a specific area of your work.
Subject: Reference request — [Your Name]
Hi [Name],
I hope things are going well with you. I have been actively looking for a new role over the past few weeks and I wanted to ask whether you would be comfortable acting as a reference for me.
We worked closely together at [Company] on [project / team / area], and I think you would be well-placed to speak to [specific skill or quality].
If you are happy to help, I will let you know in more detail about the roles I am interviewing for as things progress — so there is nothing to do right now. I would just want to flag your name when applications ask for references.
No pressure at all if this is not convenient.
Thanks very much,
[Your Name]
Template 3: Asking an Academic Reference
Use this for early-career roles, graduate programmes, or roles in research or education.
Subject: Reference request — [Your Name], [Your Course / Year]
Dear [Dr / Professor Name],
I hope this finds you well. My name is [Your Name] and I studied [subject] under your supervision at [University] between [year] and [year].
I am currently applying for [type of role / specific programme] and I am wondering whether you would be willing to provide an academic reference for me. I believe your knowledge of my work on [dissertation topic / specific module] would be very relevant to the application.
The role I am applying to focuses on [brief description], and the qualities they are looking for include [examples that connect to your academic work].
I am happy to send over my CV, a copy of my dissertation, and any other context that would help you. Please let me know if this is something you would be able to do.
Thank you for your time.
Kind regards,
[Your Name]
Template 4: Re-establishing Contact Before Asking
If you have not been in contact for more than a year, send this first. Wait a few days before following up with the reference request.
Subject: Catching up — [Your Name]
Hi [Name],
I hope you are well and things are going well at [their company, if you know it].
I have been [brief life update]. I wanted to reach out to catch up properly, and also — I will be honest — because I am starting to look at new opportunities and was hoping you might be willing to be a reference for me.
No rush on the latter — happy to have a proper catch-up first if you have time for a coffee or a call.
How have things been going for you?
Best,
[Your Name]
How to Prepare Your Referee
Getting a "yes" is only the first step. A well-prepared referee gives a stronger reference than an unprepared one, and the preparation is entirely within your control.
Once someone agrees to be a reference, send them a follow-up with the following:
- Your updated CV — so they have a clear picture of your full career history and can refer to it
- The job description — for the specific role so they can align their comments to what the employer is looking for
- A brief note on what you would most like them to highlight — two or three specific skills, qualities, or achievements you want the employer to know about
- The format of the reference check — is it a phone call, a written questionnaire, or an email? Knowing in advance helps them prepare
- A timeline — when you expect the employer to make contact, so they are not caught off guard
A short email covering these points takes five minutes to write and makes a meaningful difference to the quality of the reference.
Subject: Reference update — [Company Name] role
Hi [Name],
Good news — I have made it through to the offer stage at [Company Name] for the [Job Title] role. They will be checking references in the next few days and may contact you [by phone / by email / via an online form].
I have attached the job description and my latest CV for context. The main things I would love for them to hear about, if you are comfortable, are [e.g. "my ability to manage complex projects under pressure" and "the work we did together on the X account"].
Please do let me know if you have any questions or if there is anything else I can send over. And thank you again — I really do appreciate it.
Best,
[Your Name]
What to Do If Someone Says No
It happens, and it is not a reflection on you. People say no for all sorts of reasons — they are too busy, they have moved on from the professional context you shared, or they do not feel they can give you the reference you deserve.
If someone declines, thank them briefly and move on without pressing them for a reason. "No problem at all — I completely understand. Thanks for letting me know" is the right response. Pressing for an explanation or expressing disappointment creates awkwardness and burns the relationship unnecessarily.
If you have a small number of potential referees and one declines, prioritise reaching out to others quickly. Most hiring processes ask for two to three references, so it is worth having four or five people you could call on. This is part of a well-managed job search strategy — having contingencies in place before you need them.
What Employers Actually Check
Understanding what a reference check involves helps you prepare both yourself and your referee.
Dates of employment — Confirming start and end dates — this is why gaps or inconsistencies on your CV will surface here.
Job title and responsibilities — Verifying the role you listed.
Performance and conduct — A general assessment of how you worked and how you were regarded.
Reason for leaving — Some employers ask directly, some do not.
Whether they would re-hire you — One of the most revealing single questions an employer can ask.
One important note: In many regions, employers are legally cautious about what they can say in a reference. In the UK, for example, employers have no legal obligation to provide a detailed reference and many give only a basic factual confirmation of dates and title. This means a "neutral" reference from a former employer is not necessarily a bad sign — it may simply reflect the company's policy.
After the Reference: Always Say Thank You
Once you have accepted a job offer, send a brief thank you to anyone who provided a reference. It is a small gesture that takes two minutes and means a great deal to the person who helped you.
Subject: Thank you — I got the job
Hi [Name],
I wanted to let you know that I have accepted an offer at [Company] as [Job Title]. I am really excited about the role and I know your reference played a part in getting me there.
Thank you so much for your time and your support. I genuinely appreciate it.
I hope things are going well with you — let us stay in touch.
Best,
[Your Name]
This kind of message is remembered. The professional world is smaller than it seems, and people who feel genuinely appreciated are the ones who will help you again years down the line. The same professional care that applies here applies when you send a thank you email after your interview — small gestures compound.
References as Part of Your Broader Job Search
References are one piece of a well-managed job search. They matter most at the final stage, after your application and interviews have already done the work of getting you there.
The earlier stages — a tailored CV, a strong skills section, and an application that matches the job description — are what determine whether you reach the reference check in the first place. resum8 handles the tailoring side: paste in a job description and the Skill Match Score shows you exactly which required skills are present in your CV and which are missing, so every application goes in as strong as possible.
While you wait to hear back, the guide on following up on your application covers the right timing and templates for staying on an employer's radar. And once references clear and an offer arrives, knowing how to negotiate your salary is the next step to get right.
Quick Checklist: Asking for a Reference
- Asked at the start of the job search, not at the last minute
- Re-established contact before asking if there had been a gap of more than a year
- Explained clearly why you are asking this specific person
- Gave context about the type of roles you are targeting
- Gave them an easy out so the yes was genuine
- Sent your CV and the job description once you reached the reference stage
- Briefed them on two to three specific qualities or achievements to highlight
- Told them the format and timeline of the reference check
- Sent a thank you once the offer was accepted
Make Sure Your Application Gets You to the Reference Stage
resum8 compares your CV against each job description and shows exactly which keywords and skills are missing — so you reach the offer stage in the first place.
Try resum8 FreeFrequently Asked Questions
How many references should I have?
Most employers ask for two to three references. It is worth having four or five people you could call on so you have options if someone is unavailable, declines, or gives only a basic factual reference. Having contingencies in place before you need them avoids last-minute panic.
Can I use the same references for every job?
Yes, though it is courteous to let your referees know when their details are being submitted and for which role. Receiving an unexpected call from an employer without any prior warning is a common complaint among professional referees — a quick heads-up prevents it.
What if I do not have a good relationship with my former manager?
Use a different manager from that period, a senior colleague who had visibility of your work, or a manager from an earlier role who can speak well of you. You are not obligated to use your most recent manager — you are obligated to provide people who can speak credibly to your professional performance.
Should I tell references what to say?
Not a script — that would be obvious and counterproductive. But it is entirely appropriate to brief your referee on the two or three qualities most relevant to the role and to give them the job description so their comments are aligned with what the employer is looking for. Briefed referees give stronger, more targeted references.
Can a reference check fail a job offer?
Yes. Conditional offers are withdrawn when references reveal inconsistencies with the candidate's stated experience, raise concerns about conduct or performance, or simply cannot be reached after repeated attempts. Ensuring your references are prepared, willing, and contactable is the best protection against this.
Is it rude to ask someone to be a reference?
No — it is a professional request and most people are pleased to be asked, provided you do so respectfully and give them adequate notice. The key is framing it as a request rather than an assumption, giving them an easy way to decline, and following up with enough preparation to make it straightforward for them.